He's coming home!

We just got word--our new baby is coming to live with us! As many of you know, we have been working on adopting a beautiful baby boy, who is currently in Arizona. Well, all the initial paperwork is done, and we are leaving early tomorrow morning to pick him up!

Pray for us. This is just the first step in the adoption process. We've got a ways to go before he's "officially" ours.

Also, one of the coolest things about this whole situation has been how our church has rallied around us. For example, we have a community outreach planned for Saturday. I was planning on calling everybody and rescheduling it for a Saturday when I can be there. But one of our members told the Mighty Mrs. J, "We can do it anyway. After all, pastor says it's not a one-man show. We're all part of God's mission." So the outreach goes on!

I'm blessed and happy that the message is resonating with our church folks.

Oh, and if you're wondering whether there will be a massive onslaught of pictures of the new baby...I think you already know the answer to that question...

Pastors, and other scary people...

There's one thing about pastoring that I had almost forgotten about, but I have faced in the last few days. It's the weird reaction that people have when they find out you are a pastor. Typically, they get an odd look on their face, and get really quiet. It's like they think I'm judging them, or waiting for them to do something that I can condemn them for. Or, maybe they are expecting me to hold them down and evangelize them.

I had the over-the-phone equivalent tonight. I called up someone who goes to our group, just to see how he was doing. I hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks, and I wanted to make sure that he and his family were OK.

He was obviously uncomfortable. He was evasive, short, and sounded like he would rather be doing anything but talking to me. And I wasn't being harsh or judgmental. I was just trying to express some concern for my brother. I got the feeling that he felt like I was going to do something to him. (What, I have no idea.)

It's an odd situation for me, because I don't view people through my agenda to grow "my" church. In other words, I don't see the people around me as prospects, or potential Sunday School teachers. They're just people like me. But the title of "Pastor" puts an immediate barrier between me and some other people.

It reminded me that pastors can get lonely in their position. I don't want that to happen to me and my family. I am going to redouble my resolve to be as real, honest, and open as I can be. If being a pastor sets up barriers, I'm going to do everything I can to bust through them...

A long-awaited update...

Well, maybe it's not "long-awaited." Maybe it's just "swallowed by overwhelming apathy." Either way, just wanted to drop in to say "Hi!" (Wow. I have used quotation marks three times since the beginning of this post. "Awesome!")

Anyway, some of you might remember that I was asked to preach for a few Sundays at a local church that was looking for a pastor. They asked me to preach for 4 Sundays, then for a couple more Sundays after that. It must have gone well, because the church voted to ask me to be their pastor!

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know my misgivings about traditional church. But after a lot of prayer and talking, the Mighty Mrs. J and I felt like it was something God had opened up for us. As of about a week ago, I became pastor of the First Baptist Church of Bell Gardens.

It's been busy. I still have my business to run, and I'm learning to juggle work and ministry. But I think it's going to be fun. They are a great little group of people, and they've expressed a real desire to minister to hurting people. There is a lot of work to be done, with the facilities and the people. We are looking forward to the challenge.

I think for me the hardest part will be to keep teaching and living grace as a lifestyle, and not to allow anything that cheapens the gospel to creep in. It will be interesting. Pray for us!

A personal update on, well, me...

I've been a bit scarce around here. Business is going really well, and it's hard to make time for blogging. In order to blog regularly right now, I'd need to take time away from less important activities, like spending time with my wife and kids. (Maybe I need to change my priorities.)

I would like to ask for those of you who are praying folks to drop a line or two to God for me and the family. You may remember that a few weeks ago, I preached at a small local church. it was the first time I had preached anywhere in a while.

Well, it went pretty smoothly. No one threw anything, or heckled me. Now, they've asked me to come back and preach for the next four Sundays, and teach their Wednesday night Bible study.

I don't really feel nervous about the whole thing, at least not yet. But I do want to be a blessing to them while I'm there. So I'm asking for prayer in a couple of areas. First, pray that I would be able to preach and teach God's love, without the baggage that sometimes comes in a traditional church setting. Second, pray for my family. It will be a little hard to be away from the people we usually fellowship with on Sunday. (We're seeing them at different times, but it isn't the same.)

Anyway, that's my update. You may now resume your normal activities...

Does US Christianity need to be less balanced?

I just ran across this post from John Frye over at Jesus, the Radical Pastor.  In it, he makes a strong call for the church in the US to be less "balanced," less comfortable, and less bland. 

I don't have time for much comment right now.  But this post got me thinking, and I wanted to pass along the link...

How did this happen?

Through what can only be described as some horrible mistake, a local church has asked me to preach for them this Sunday. It will be the first time I've preached from a pulpit in a few years. Even when I was pastoring, I mostly sat with everyone else, and combined teaching and discussion.

Am I nervous? Not really. For one thing, I haven't had time to be nervous because my work schedule has been so packed that I haven't had time to think about it. But more importantly, my whole attitude on giving talks, or sermons, or whatever, has really changed since I've been out of "full-time Christian ministry."

When I was pastoring, I really felt a burden to make sure that I had a carefully-crafted sermon prepared, and that I delivered it as well as I could (insert your own joke here). I see things a bit differently now.

Not that I don't have a responsibility to put together a good sermon. It's just that I realize that very few people are changed by a once-weekly dose of "3 points and a poem." They certainly aren't changed by "7 steps to a happy marriage" or 4 biblical keys to financial security."

People are changed by one thing: the overwhelming love and grace of God. I think I read somewhere that it is God's kindness that leads us to repentance. If that's true, then the more we talk about and live out the kindness of God, the more repentance, the more godliness, we will see.

I guess what I'm saying is that I see my job when I teach or preach is to show how God's grace and love shines through on every page of Scripture. If the folks at that church leave the service on Sunday a little more in love with Jesus, I've done my job. Even if they don't get "5 biblical essentials for perfect, evangelical hair."


For those of you that read to the end, here is your treat. Keep hitting "Refresh" to get the full effect...

The church, working...

I know I spend some time on this blog talking about the church, about what's wrong and how to fix it. So here's my positive comment about something that's right with a church: this story about a church in suburban Chicago.

They get it. They understand that it's not about the buildings, or the decorations, or any of that other stuff. It's about living out the life of Christ everywhere we are: in our own lives, in our family, with our friends, in our communities.

Now everyone. On the count of 3: 1-----2-----3: Hooray, Waterfront Community Church! Hooray!

You may now return to your seats...

Behavior modification vs. life transformation, part 2...

Several days ago, I wrote about some of the reasons we see such a large number of kids leave the church once they graduate high school. My basic premise is that kids leave church once they get on their own for one main reason: growing up they were performing the way their parents and church leaders expected, but their hearts were not committed to Christ. In other words, the reality of what was going on in their hearts did not match their outward performance.

Once these kids get out in the "real world" they no longer feel the need to perform the same church duties. But they've learned that the way to be accepted is to perform for others, so they conform their actions to their new friends, classmates, co-workers, whoever. We've probably all seen kids who seemed to be grounded in their faith, but then went crazy once they left the cocoon of home and church. The problem is that their lives aren't really changed at the core of who they are.

That kind of change only comes when a person has an ongoing, personal, grace-based relationship with Jesus. So, the question is: how do we help kids develop that kind of relationship?

First, we need to go back to regular teaching of the gospel. Only the gospel is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes. I'm afraid we've discounted the supernatural power of God to change us through the simple gospel. No amount of preaching about rule-keeping--whether it's:

• church attendance,
  
• devotional time,
  
• tithing,
  
• missions trips,
  
• student leadership positions,
  
• or whatever--
  

will change lives. Only the gospel (Christ's death for our sins, burial, and resurrection) can do that.

We need our kids to understand their place in God's family. They need to know that God is at work in them, to will and act according to His good purpose. They need to know that they've been given the Holy Spirit as God's promise that He will complete His work in them.

Why do they need to know this? Well, because it's true for one thing. Also, these teachings will help them get their identity from Christ, from what God has done and is doing in them. Otherwise, they'll get their identity from what other people think of them.

Second, we need to realize that large groups (of kids or adults) aren't designed for spiritual growth. It's way too easy for people to hide in groups, or go along with the crowd looking spiritual, without ever really experiencing grace-full growth.

Real edification happens when smaller groups of people commit to each other. For kids that begins when the parents commit to praying for their children and modeling a life dependent on Jesus. In the larger church, each of us must be committed to doing what we can to shepherd the little ones in our midst. Again, not teaching them to keep the rules, but helping them see Christian life as trusting and resting in Christ's work, and learning our true identity from Him.

What's clear to me is that doing this would require major changes in most traditional churches. In many churches, you can go for weeks, months, even years without hearing what the gospel means in the life of the believer. But Christians need to hear the gospel more than they need another "7 keys to having great hair" sermon.

Also, the "bigger is better" mentality doesn't lead to spiritual growth. You may get crowds, but you can't encourage real growth. Smaller groups of people, invested in each other are key to this working.

Last, notice how little I've said about church leaders, the pastor or youth minister. Raising up kids who are filled with God's grace and Spirit is the responsibility first of the parents, then of other adults and kids who are willing to invest time and prayer in the people around them. The pastor/youth leader has a place, but it's not primary.

Any thoughts?

If you got this far, you deserve this. I'm really starting to love this song. Great lyrics...

NFTW #017--What are we spending our money ?; What is God keeping for us?

We need to pray for believers in India.

A new survey causes me to ask: What should we be spending our money on?

Also, What does God keep for us?

Listen here:




Right-click here to download this podcast!

Here is the story on the trouble in India.

This is the story of the survey on what churches are raising money for.

How did I get here from there?

(Note: I recently wrote this for another venue. But since I pick up new readers occasionally who don't know much about me, I thought I'd cross-post here.)


Hi everybody! I've been a reader here off and on for a while. But I decided to jump into the forums and actually be a part of things. Here's a not-so-short version of my story. I grew up in a church that was very much performance-oriented (even though they wouldn't have ever agreed with that assessment). As a teenager, I felt a call to ministry, and that ramped up the expectations for me. Both the expectations I put on myself, and the expectations I felt God had for me.

I went through college and seminary, all the while working in various church positions. Toward the end of seminary, my wife and I decided that God was calling us to start a church. Our church started out meeting in rented halls and conference rooms.

I should say through all this work I was putting in to glorify God, I rarely felt like He was pleased with me. I had a theological understanding that He and I were at peace. I knew that I was supposed to have fellowship with Him. But He often seemed completely distant. And that just fueled my feeling that He was unhappy with me. I knew that something was wrong, but the only answer I could see was working harder. Of course, that didn't work either, and I would often just spiral into doubt and regret about my life and my faith.

After meeting in rented rooms for a while, I started becoming convinced that what was really wrong with church and my work was that we were meeting the way early Christians used to meet: in homes. So our little church started meeting in homes every week. Our meetings started being more casual and interactive. "House church" really was a good fit for us. But something still wasn't right. I couldn't work hard enough, or regret my mistakes enough, to make God approve of me.

Finally, I just had enough. I had to walk away from ministry. Since what I was doing wasn't creating a better relationship between me and God, what was the point? I sent our people off to good churches where they would be fed and happy, and my family and I kind of drifted. We met up with some house church people, and I really like the style of their meetings. (I still do.)

It's been about 2 years since I left the pro ministry. God is doing something deeper in me. At some point, I realized that God isn't that concerned about where the body gets together on Sunday. And He's not even that excited about what I do in my service for Him. What He wants is me. Not my work. Not my gigantic ministry plans. Just me.

The realization that God loves me just because He loves me is still re-shaping the core of who I am. Do I still get depressed sometimes? Yes. Do I feel like I should be "doing more for the Kingdom?" Sometimes. But what I don't feel as much anymore is the weight, the burden of God's disapproval. Because now I know, and sometimes I even feel, that I am God's beloved child. No matter what I do, say, or think, He won't ever love me more, or less, than He does right now.

I know this is overly long, so thanks for reading...And since you read to the end, here's some musical enlightenment...

Behavior modification vs. life transformation...

A couple of days ago, I started talking about the fact that young people are leaving our churches in droves after they get out of high school. It's something that has bothered me for a while. It seems like a clear indication that we are not passing the faith on to the next generation. Some of those who leave do come back, but many do not.

So, what's going wrong?

Well, I think there's a clue found in the reasons that kids give for leaving church. (Again, I'm equating "faith" with "church" because that is so common in Christian circles. It's wrong, but common.) Some of the reasons, like they moved too far away from their church or left home to go to college, don't make sense, because they could easily find another church to attend. But 17% of the kids surveyed were honest: they said they were only going to church to please others. I believe that would be considerably higher, if more of the kids surveyed had been more reflective and honest.

And it's understandable. So much of Christianity is performance-based, and approval is given based on external behaviors. Thus, if a kid shows up every Sunday, signs an abstinence pledge, doesn't drink or party, and has a regular quiet time, he or she is considered a "Good Christian kid." The reality is that you can do all those things and more, and have a heart that's cold toward God.

And the parents are probably on the same performance hamster wheel. They are taught that good Christians do certain things (serve in church ministries, attend weekly meetings, tithe, read their Bible, etc.). To gain approval from others in the church, church leaders, and ultimately from God, they do all the things they think they should.

When kids graduate from high school, they move, they get full-time jobs, they go off to college. They still have a mindset that they need to perform to get approval. But now they are away from parents and church leaders, so they look for approval from new groups of people: co-workers, roommates, other students. So now they get that approval from those people, instead of from church activities.

The real problem, as I see it, is that we've become largely performance-based as believers. What God wants is not the proper behavior, but actual life-change. Life transformation will result in behavior change, but transformation is a lot more difficult, messier, and harder to quantify.

So how do we go from a church culture that is bent on producing right behavior, to one that is committed to seeing people changed from the inside out? I've got some thoughts on that, but it's getting late, so that will have to wait until another time.

And for all of you who made it through the whole post, here's some fine music as a reward...

Why kids leave church...

For years, something has disturbed me about the church in the US. (Actually, a lot of things disturb me, but let's take them one at a time.) It's this fact: according to one study, 70% of kids who grow up in church leave it after they get out of high school. Of that group, 65% don't come back.

What happens, or doesn't happen, that allows kids to walk away from something that has been such a big part of their lives? This question bothers me, because I know that if these kids were experiencing God's presence in their lives, they wouldn't be going elsewhere. (And, yes, I am equating leaving church with leaving their faith, because for many Christians, the two are linked.)

If you look at the numbers in this study, kids don't leave for theological reasons. They leave because they go to college, or they move too far away from their home church. They leave because they work Sunday mornings. Some just want a break from church, or want to hang out with their friends.

Some of the people surveyed said they left because of differences with the pastor's teachings, or because the church was hypocritical. But apparently, these kids didn't try to find a different church that was more to their liking.

Underneath all those reasons these kids gave, there's one truth that seems clear to me. These kids had the appearance of being committed, but their relationship with God is either non-existent or severely underdeveloped. That may sound harsh, but my experience is that when people who are committed to Christ leave the institutional church, they still have a desire to hang out with God's people. That desire seems to be lacking for a lot of the kids surveyed.

So how do you get whole groups of kids who can "act Christian" but are lacking a true relationship with God? That's the question. More personally, as a father, how can I keep my kids from following down that path. I want them to really know Jesus, not just act like they know Him.

I think there is an answer here, and part of it found in some of the responses to the survey I linked to. But this post is way too long already, so I'll pick this up again soon...

p.s.-If you've read this all the way to the end, here is my gift to you: possibly the greatest song ever recorded.

The best part about Christmas...

My family went to a Julotta service early this morning. It's a great tradition that the Mighty Mrs. J and I have developed over lo these many years of marriage. We get the kids up in their pajamas, and we all pile into the van and drive to the church house. Singing starts at 6 am, and it's a great time of worship.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but I was really moved by one Christmas carol, Angels from the Realms of Glory. Especially this verse:

Saints, before the altar bending,
Watching long in hope and fear;
Suddenly the Lord, descending,
In His temple shall appear.

What a great picture of how Jesus is the fulfillment of all we look for--our hope, our deliverance, our life. That is the best part of the Christmas story for me.

Except maybe for this. thanks, Mighty Mrs. J!

There's a million people in my house!!!

Technically, there aren't a million people in my house. But it kinda felt like it today. You see, it was our turn to host the Sunday get-together with the people we church with. (We try to rotate the host family, so no one has the burden of hosting all the time.) So we had over 30 people in our house this morning, having breakfast, singing, talking about Jesus, and generally having a great time.

How was it, having all those people (a lot of kids!) running through the house? Great! We actually had a great time. This is a terrific group of people that I enjoy more every time we get together. It's hectic. Our old house is big enough for everybody, but just barely. There were a lot of people bumping into each other, but no one seemed to mind.

One of the things I appreciate about the group we church with is the freedom we have during worship. Anyone is welcome, even encouraged, to lead out with a song, or a prayer, or something they feel like God has given them to share. That gives everyone a chance to lead the worship. I also think it makes worship more like what the Bible describes, where everyone has a part. I like being a part of it...

BREAKING NEWS: Homosexual warlocks should be boycotted!

I just read this article from the Christian Post. It talks about renewed calls for Christians to boycott the Harry Potter book series. (Yeah, I know it's a little late.) The reason? The author, J.K. Rowling, recently said that one of the characters was gay. This revelation has caused some believers to join the boycott bandwagon, which started when the first book came out several years ago.

To be honest, I haven't read any of the books. (I have seen a couple of the movies. Books take so long. Plus, there's reading involved.) But I understand that the whole witchcraft thing really bothers some Christians. Although it didn't seem to bother Christians who loved Lord of the Rings. But that's another story.

This gay thing baffles me though. From the article I read, it seems that nobody knew about this character's sexual orientation. So why is it an issue now? There's still nothing in the books that promotes homosexuality. So why the change in attitude? And, why are some Christians more concerned about the unrevealed homosexuality of a character than they are about the overt witchcraft? It's very confusing to me.

The larger question is, why do Christians regard homosexuals as the worst kind of sinners? There are all kinds of sins we let slide, or we accept people who struggle with these things: gossip, gluttony, idolatry, to name a few. But let someone come out that he is struggling with being gay. Then it gets awkward. He's a pariah.

I remember when Magic Johnson went public with his HIV diagnosis. The reaction from a large percentage of the Christians I knew then? HIV is what you get when you're that kind of person. No sympathy. No empathy.

I suggested at a Bible study I was teaching at the time that we treat people who get heart disease because they eat too much red meat the same way we treat people with HIV. After all, both are diseases caused by lifestyle. Needless to say, it didn't go over well.

I wonder why I don't church there any longer...

Real truth from an old song...

I live in southern California, where singing the old Christian hymns went out of fashion about the same time as 8-track stereos. But I grew up on the old songs, and I still love to sing them. Fortunately, I church with a group that still sings the "golden oldies" sometimes.

I was thinking of a line from one of my favorite hymns this morning, and the truth of it struck me in a new way. It was "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing." This is the verse that got me thinking:

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

The lines, "Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee," really resonated because I see now that God's goodness is really the only thing that binds us to Him. And all the things we use to try to bring us closer to Him are pointless at best, harmful at worst.

How many things have I used to try to build my relationship with God? Well, let's see, there's Bible reading, prayer, fasting, church work, Sunday School teaching, pastoring.and on, and on, and on.

There's nothing wrong with any of those activities, but so much of it was just me trying to gain favor with God with my own effort. Really it is God's goodness, ALONE, that draws me to Him. All those things can take the place of the Holy Spirit's work of growing us to be like Jesus.

In fact, I wonder how many programs int he church have grown and developed over the years for 2 bad reasons: we don't trust the Holy Spirit enough to do His work His way, and we have a lot of people attending services who don't demonstrate the Spirit's transforming power because He's not in them? Both of those possibilities frighten me.

More on this later...

This is where the church ought to be...

Please, please, PLEASE take a couple of minutes to read this great story on the Mars Hill Journey blog. I can't think of a better illustration of the real mission of the church. And if you can read it without a lump forming in your throat, let me know and I'll have paramedics come over and check your pulse.

(Thanks to the Voyage blog for posting about this a few days ago. You are a man among men!)

Am I bitter toward the church?

As some of you know, I left a traditional church pastorate a number of months ago. It was totally the right thing to do, because God is calling us in a different direction. One of the reasons I left was because I see how often "church" actually keeps people from experiencing God's presence in their lives.

I don't want to go into the details of it here, because I've talked about it a little before. (Like here.) But one thing I do know, I don't want to be a bitter burn-out. It's too easy to see the weaknesses in an institution, and then blame the people in the institution for everything that's wrong. But the fact is, the majority of traditional churches are pastored by good men and women who love God and want to serve Him. They really want to see people reached and God glorified.

I still see traditional church structures as fatally flawed. And, I have a feeling I'll have more to say about this in future posts. But, I just wonder if anyone else is thinking about how to keep from developing bitter feelings when traditional church has shown itself to be lacking...

How much structure does worship require?

I just read a great little post from Sandra Carawan at the fairly new blog, Selah. It's about structure in worship. I know many churches have a pretty set script for how worship is supposed to go. Even the Holy Spirit would have a hard time breaking through such tight controls over the proceedings.

I guess we need some direction in our worship. Even in the group I church with, a couple of people always have a few songs picked out for us to begin with. We usually start with some of the prepared songs.

But I think we need less structure than we think. In our group, it isn't long before someone just leads out in a song that's on their heart. Soon everyone who knows the song joins in. Then someone else, maybe even a kid, will call out another song. Or someone will quote a scripture, or pray. It's really free, and it's open, and somehow it works. Even with no one really in charge.

I guess more than structure, I have a problem with the concept of leaders and followers in worship. In most churches I've seen, there's a real distinction between the people up front leading worship, and the people in the audience being led in worship. I think that distinction is really damaging to the church.

I think the more biblical approach to worship is in 1 Corinthians 14, where it talks about everyone coming together, and each person having a song, or a scripture, or a teaching. If everyone is involved, there's no leaders and no audience. It's just one people, coming before God in worship.

Tat doesn't mean doesn't visit churches where they have a highly structured worship. It just means that I don't think God intended for us to be passive observers of worship or teaching. He wants all of us to be actively involved, leading and being led, teaching and being taught...

First-hand faith in a second-hand world...

One thing I am committed to is helping my children have a living, vibrant spiritual life. A life that's centered around their relationship to Jesus as their forgiver and leader. And by vibrant, I mean not just a casual relationship where they hear a nice sermon and some good music on Sunday. I mean a life where they see God at work in their lives, and the lives of those around them. I think that's the life that God intended for people to have. But so many of us, even those of us who call ourselves Christians, settle for a second-hand faith. You know, hearing about the great God that worked in a big way for someone else, but not so much for me.

Toward that end, my wife, the Mighty Mrs. J, and I left a somewhat traditional church ministry that I started a few years ago. We felt like we were spinning our wheels, doing what we were expected to do. But we want more than that! So we've started looking for other like-minded people who are searching for a real, first-hand faith experience. What do I mean by first-hand? A few things:

• I am responsible for my relationship with God. Just like I'm responsible for how the Mighty Mrs. J and I relate. It's not up to a minister, a worship leader, an author, or any self-proclaimed guru to make sure I'm growing more like Jesus.
• I believe that God is working in my life, and the lives of the people around me. There was a popular book several years ago that invited Christians to find out where God is working, and join Him in His work. I want to find out where God is working around me.
• The goal of the Christian life is to develop such a close relationship with God that I become more and more like Jesus. The goal isn't increased knowledge, or a theological degree, or a place of honor in a church group.
  
• The best way to study God's word is to read it myself. I don't need someone else to read it to me and tell me what it means.
• The best way to apply God's word to my life is as part of a group of people who are serious about digging into the Bible as a group. People who personally interact with the Bible are more likely to make Bible truths part of their lives.
• The way the traditional church is structured leads to a passive, second-hand faith. It's my personal opinion traditional church is often a hindrance to people who seek an authentic faith. Look at a typical church service: a worship leader chooses what you will sing, a preacher reads the Bible for you and tells you what it means. Everything is done for you.
  

There's a lot more on my mind, but I'll stop here. This is a long post, but this is something really important for me. Most kids follow to some degree the faith of their parents. I want my kids to see as close to a true representation of the Christian life as possible.