Thoughts on where God wants us...

If you look at the left side of the blog, you'll see links to the web sites of several musicians. They all helped my former church by donating songs for us to use on an outreach CD we gave away to people. One of the best of the bunch is Matt Nightingale, who has a great voice. I still have his CD as one of my "regular listens." (Go buy a CD for yourself here!)(And no, I don't get a cut from CD sales.)

Anyway, Matt is leaving his position as worship leader at a church in northern California. I'm sure his people there will miss him. When I emailed him to wish him well, he said that he had never done anything so crazy as leave a position like this. But he felt God was calling him away.

It made me think about my life in the last year or so, since we left the pastorate of the church we started. It's been a rough year in so many ways. Pastoring, like a lot of jobs, really defines the people who hold that title. It becomes a part of their identity. So I did lose a piece of who I was when I left that job. And I wasn't interested in going to another church, so that part of me really died when I walked away.

A lot of my life is different now. We started a new business. We've been finding new ways to fellowship with other believers. We're finding new ways to relate to people outside the faith too.

My reasons for leaving our church are different, I'm sure, from the reasons Matt and his family are leaving. I became convinced that the way I was using my gifts in the body of Christ were not consistent with what I saw in the New Testament church. And I didn't like the tension within myself that resulted from doing something I didn't really believe in. So I left.

I do want to ask every believer who reads this blog to pray for Matt, his wife, and his kids (4 of them, I believe). It's gutsy to leave the security of the known. Pray that God will lead the Nightingales to the place where He wants them to land.

Matt, I've got no advice for you, except this: I've learned a couple of things over the last year. One, following God is the craziest, most dangerous thing you'll ever do. But it's totally worth it. Two, I don't think God is that concerned about where you go, or what you do when you get there. (Not that He won't lead you where He wants.) But what He really wants isn't your service, or your talents, or your fervent efforts for Him. He just wants you. He doesn't love you for what you can do; He loves you because you are His child, His little boy. And as long as you are with Him, it doesn't matter where you guys end up...

Good folks doing good work...

The Mighty Mrs. J and I are blessed. We have a great marriage (at least I think so), with great kids, and a nice house. We don't have a ton of money, but we don't hurt for anything either. And it's becoming more important to us that we help people in this world who have real needs. There's a lot of reasons this is more important to us. One, it is the right thing to do. Second, we want our kids to realize how blessed they are, especially compared to other people.

I say all that to tell you about one of the groups that we've been supporting for a while, the Foothills Pregnancy Resource Center. They work with pregnant women here in southern California. They provide counsel and guidance for these women, trying to get them to choose life for their babies. They are growing, reaching out, trying to provide more services to the communities they serve.

Here's a link to their web site. Click over and see for yourself what they do. And, I'm not one to tell you how to spend your money. But while you're at their site, why not give them a donation? Saving kids is a pretty terrific way to spend your money...

Prayer for the new year...

"Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not enjoy it enough."
--Garrison Keillor

Something I'm thinking about...

This post is mostly to remind me, but feel free to join in.

"I have as much ability to teach myself how to love God as Toddler Houdini has the capacity to teach herself how to love me. God has to teach me what it means to love and be loved by Him, just like it's my job to teach Toddler Houdini."

There's a million people in my house!!!

Technically, there aren't a million people in my house. But it kinda felt like it today. You see, it was our turn to host the Sunday get-together with the people we church with. (We try to rotate the host family, so no one has the burden of hosting all the time.) So we had over 30 people in our house this morning, having breakfast, singing, talking about Jesus, and generally having a great time.

How was it, having all those people (a lot of kids!) running through the house? Great! We actually had a great time. This is a terrific group of people that I enjoy more every time we get together. It's hectic. Our old house is big enough for everybody, but just barely. There were a lot of people bumping into each other, but no one seemed to mind.

One of the things I appreciate about the group we church with is the freedom we have during worship. Anyone is welcome, even encouraged, to lead out with a song, or a prayer, or something they feel like God has given them to share. That gives everyone a chance to lead the worship. I also think it makes worship more like what the Bible describes, where everyone has a part. I like being a part of it...

Are stay-at-home dads happy?

Am I happy being a stay-at-home dad? I thought I was. Then I saw that this blog had been linked to in another blog. The topic at that other blog? (Yes, there are other blogs. I know, shocking!) How unhappy the marriage of the blogger is with her stay-at-home husband. It got me thinking about my whole situation.

You probably should know that I tend toward being slightly dramatic. When I see a commercial for some new medication on TV, I always imagine that I have the ailment the medicine is supposed to cure. Even though, as the Mighty Mrs. J has often pointed out, it would be very hard for me to be suffering from the traumatic effects of menopause. So, I started thining that maybe I wasn't happy after all. I wondered, am I really happy?

Answer? Yeah, I really am happy with where I am right now. And not just because I have a writing business I operate from our house. (The blogger woman suggested that the only happy SAHD's are ones who work also.) In fact, I came up with a list of reasons why I'm happy to be a SAHD:

1. I have a profound impact on my children's lives. Much more than I would if I was at an office 10 or 12 hours a day.
2. I have a terrific wife who realizes that marriage is a partnership where both of us have to give up things to make the family work. I give up some of my self-identity by not working outside, and she gives up some of her time with our kids.
   
3. We get to show our kids that families comes in all shapes, sizes, and configurations. I hope our 3 musketeers grow up to know that they aren't bound by what society says is normal.
4. I get the challenge of doing kid stuff, and working to run a small business on short amounts of time and money.
5. We see every day just how good God is to us. He provides in miraculous ways, even when we don't understand how He's doing it.

Will this arrangement last forever? I have no idea. If the writing business takes off like I think it will, then maybe both of us can stay at home full time. That would be ideal.

By the way, if you want to read the blog that prompted this post, here it is. I gotta warn you. If you go there and find something you don't like, don't blame me. I don't vouch for anything there. Or anything here, for that matter.

And just to prove how deliriously happy we are, here's a picture of us. Try
to ignor that I look all doped up (more than usual). This pic just goes to prove the old saying, the couple that takes cheesy pictures together, stays together.

Frightening thought...

My son has been saying something lately that is very frightening to me. In fact, I can't think of too much that scares me more. When we're doing things together, he often says, "Dada, I'm going to copy you. I'm gonna do it just like you." He's going to copy ME????

What a thought! I've never thought of myself as someone who should be copied. I am really flawed. But here's this little life that is looking at me, trying to figure out how to act in this world. I'm still trying to figure that out myself.

It reminds me that people who study such things say that kids get their ideas about who God is by watching their parents, especially their dads. If their father is warm, loving, and forgiving, they assume God is like that too. On the other hand, if dad is cold and aloof, or angry and violent, then that's how they see God.

My dad was gone. Totally. Saw him a handful of times growing up, but he was never a part of my life. And I have struggled my whole life with the idea that God (or anyone, for that matter) really loves me. I know in my head that I am loved by God. But somehow that knowledge hasn't seeped into my soul. So I sometimes wonder: am I loved? Am I lovable? It's not a great way to live. But it's the legacy that my father left to me.

I want to do better for my kids. I want my kids to see God as the One they can always turn to. The One who is always on their side. The One who doesn't tolerate bad behavior, but who is always ready to forgive. The One who you can always depend on, no matter how much you have goobered things.

It's a pretty tall order to model all those things for my kids. Thankfully, I can also be a model of how a flawed human being can still be loved and accepted by a good, loving God. Thank God for grace!

(Again, the picture has nothing to do with this post. But he sure is cute!)

First-hand faith in a second-hand world...

One thing I am committed to is helping my children have a living, vibrant spiritual life. A life that's centered around their relationship to Jesus as their forgiver and leader. And by vibrant, I mean not just a casual relationship where they hear a nice sermon and some good music on Sunday. I mean a life where they see God at work in their lives, and the lives of those around them. I think that's the life that God intended for people to have. But so many of us, even those of us who call ourselves Christians, settle for a second-hand faith. You know, hearing about the great God that worked in a big way for someone else, but not so much for me.

Toward that end, my wife, the Mighty Mrs. J, and I left a somewhat traditional church ministry that I started a few years ago. We felt like we were spinning our wheels, doing what we were expected to do. But we want more than that! So we've started looking for other like-minded people who are searching for a real, first-hand faith experience. What do I mean by first-hand? A few things:

• I am responsible for my relationship with God. Just like I'm responsible for how the Mighty Mrs. J and I relate. It's not up to a minister, a worship leader, an author, or any self-proclaimed guru to make sure I'm growing more like Jesus.
• I believe that God is working in my life, and the lives of the people around me. There was a popular book several years ago that invited Christians to find out where God is working, and join Him in His work. I want to find out where God is working around me.
• The goal of the Christian life is to develop such a close relationship with God that I become more and more like Jesus. The goal isn't increased knowledge, or a theological degree, or a place of honor in a church group.
  
• The best way to study God's word is to read it myself. I don't need someone else to read it to me and tell me what it means.
• The best way to apply God's word to my life is as part of a group of people who are serious about digging into the Bible as a group. People who personally interact with the Bible are more likely to make Bible truths part of their lives.
• The way the traditional church is structured leads to a passive, second-hand faith. It's my personal opinion traditional church is often a hindrance to people who seek an authentic faith. Look at a typical church service: a worship leader chooses what you will sing, a preacher reads the Bible for you and tells you what it means. Everything is done for you.
  

There's a lot more on my mind, but I'll stop here. This is a long post, but this is something really important for me. Most kids follow to some degree the faith of their parents. I want my kids to see as close to a true representation of the Christian life as possible.