A long-awaited update...

Well, maybe it's not "long-awaited." Maybe it's just "swallowed by overwhelming apathy." Either way, just wanted to drop in to say "Hi!" (Wow. I have used quotation marks three times since the beginning of this post. "Awesome!")

Anyway, some of you might remember that I was asked to preach for a few Sundays at a local church that was looking for a pastor. They asked me to preach for 4 Sundays, then for a couple more Sundays after that. It must have gone well, because the church voted to ask me to be their pastor!

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know my misgivings about traditional church. But after a lot of prayer and talking, the Mighty Mrs. J and I felt like it was something God had opened up for us. As of about a week ago, I became pastor of the First Baptist Church of Bell Gardens.

It's been busy. I still have my business to run, and I'm learning to juggle work and ministry. But I think it's going to be fun. They are a great little group of people, and they've expressed a real desire to minister to hurting people. There is a lot of work to be done, with the facilities and the people. We are looking forward to the challenge.

I think for me the hardest part will be to keep teaching and living grace as a lifestyle, and not to allow anything that cheapens the gospel to creep in. It will be interesting. Pray for us!

Thoughts on God's second chances...

On her always-thoughtful blog, Emily had a great post about her ambivalent feelings toward getting involved with kids in a local orphanage. (She's in the Ukraine, for folks who don't know.) She seemed afraid that she would use these kids, take their love and affection, and use them to heal her own emotional wounds.

Her post reminded me of feelings that I've fought with most of my life. (By the way, the rest of this post isn't about Emily's post. It's about my reaction to her post. She speaks very well for herself.) I've spent way too much time and energy keeping people at arm's length. My defense against people getting too close? Humor (or the attempting of humor, at least). And avoidance. Especially in my twenties, when I found it really hard to be around people, except for a close circle of friends. During that time in my life, I would have full-blown panic attacks whenever I was in social situations.

It took me forever to get my bachelor's degree. The panic attacks were one reason why it took so long. I would register for classes, then not be able to walk into class. I mean, I wouldn't be physically able to move my body into the classroom. It's bizarre. I understand that. But it's how I lived for a long time.

I know now that the panic attacks were part of my twisted brain's desire to protect me from getting hurt. And so were all the other ways that I kept people from getting too close. But the results were not at all what I wanted--missed opportunities for jobs and relationships, wrong beliefs about myself and the people around me. And I think I did use some people for my advantage.

The good news? Those awful panic attacks are mostly gone. And I don't fear letting people see me for who I am. God has brought me a long way. (I still have a long way to go!) And my life is better than ever. Even more important, I see how great life is, and I can appreciate it. Soon, I'll post a little about what and who God used to put me in a different place...

BREAKING NEWS: Homosexual warlocks should be boycotted!

I just read this article from the Christian Post. It talks about renewed calls for Christians to boycott the Harry Potter book series. (Yeah, I know it's a little late.) The reason? The author, J.K. Rowling, recently said that one of the characters was gay. This revelation has caused some believers to join the boycott bandwagon, which started when the first book came out several years ago.

To be honest, I haven't read any of the books. (I have seen a couple of the movies. Books take so long. Plus, there's reading involved.) But I understand that the whole witchcraft thing really bothers some Christians. Although it didn't seem to bother Christians who loved Lord of the Rings. But that's another story.

This gay thing baffles me though. From the article I read, it seems that nobody knew about this character's sexual orientation. So why is it an issue now? There's still nothing in the books that promotes homosexuality. So why the change in attitude? And, why are some Christians more concerned about the unrevealed homosexuality of a character than they are about the overt witchcraft? It's very confusing to me.

The larger question is, why do Christians regard homosexuals as the worst kind of sinners? There are all kinds of sins we let slide, or we accept people who struggle with these things: gossip, gluttony, idolatry, to name a few. But let someone come out that he is struggling with being gay. Then it gets awkward. He's a pariah.

I remember when Magic Johnson went public with his HIV diagnosis. The reaction from a large percentage of the Christians I knew then? HIV is what you get when you're that kind of person. No sympathy. No empathy.

I suggested at a Bible study I was teaching at the time that we treat people who get heart disease because they eat too much red meat the same way we treat people with HIV. After all, both are diseases caused by lifestyle. Needless to say, it didn't go over well.

I wonder why I don't church there any longer...

My kids do amazing things!

I haven't written a lot about the kids lately. But they are doing great. I'm amazed at the things they are able to do. More than that, I am amazed at the things they are eager to try. You see, I grew up afraid. Afraid of trying new things. Afraid of being hurt. Just afraid. (I think the Mighty Mrs. J had the same kind of feelings growing up.)

I'm sure most of that fear came from my mom. She was really protective of me. After she and my father divorced, I was all she had. And I know she was scared something would happen to me, then she would have nothing.

For a long time, I believed I was afraid of a lot of things. As I've gotten older, I realized I was carrying a lot of the fears my mother had. It's been quite liberating to leave some of those fears behind. (I still carry some that I need to lose.) The Mighty Mrs. J and I have tried hard not to pass along our fears and weirdness to the kids. So far, I think we're doing OK.

Here's Little McGyver riding his skateboard, with Dsiney Girl bringing up the rear on the tricycle:















And here they are climbing up the tree in the back yard:
















They all seem to have the adventure gene. That adds a lot of fun to their lives! And some gray hairs for the Mighty Mrs. J and me...


(In case you wondered, this was, of course, another chance to show off pics of my cute kids!)

World's Sweetest Toddler no longer...

I have always referred to my youngest daughter as the World's Sweetest Toddler. And she is. Even though she has her Terrible 2's moments, she is a charming, wonderful little girl. But she has developed a very disturbing habit.

To be blunt, my little darling is a nudist at heart. We can't keep clothes on her, especially at sleeptime. For several weeks now, the Mighty Mrs. J and I have experienced being surprised by our sweet angel wandering down the hallway. And she is naked. Completely naked. The problem is, she's not potty trained. You can imagine the trouble this can cause.

It's not like we haven't tried keep her clothed. We put layers of clothing over her diaper, hoping to discourage her. But she won't be denied her naked freedom. She strips after we put her to bed. Later in the night we find her, sleeping, in her birthday suit.

In light of these developments, I think it's time to change her nickname. For a girl who is this good at escaping the constraints of clothing, only one nickname will do. From now on, she's Toddler Houdini.

No father wants his daughter to be an exhibitionist. I mean, it's cute now. But if this is still going on when she's 17, there's going to be a problem...

p.s.--The pic with this post is a rare look at Toddler Houdini, fully clothed...

UPDATE--This post has gotten a couple of hits from some people with questionable motives. Specifically, it has shown up on searches where people were looking for things like "sweet family little nudists" and "little kids completely naked." I can't think of a legitimate reason to run these searches.

AND FOR WHOEVER IS LAUNCHING THESE SEARCHES:
If you got here because you were looking for naked kid pics on the internet, I can only say one thing--what you're doing is sick and wrong. You have to know that. You only have one hope--turn your life over to Jesus. He is the only one who can break this demonic hold on your life. He will forgive you for everything you've done wrong, give you new life, clear out all the garbage that currently fills your life. Also, get some help from a qualified counselor.

Don't continue down this road. It will only result in ruined lives...

Saving the kids from themselves!

I think I've finally recovered from the various ailments that have sapped my blogging strength. Good thing my strength is returning, because I need it all to deal with my kids.

A couple of days ago, the World's Sweetest Toddler choked on a piece of toast. The Mighty Mrs. J gave her back blows and finally the toast dislodged. We had to call paramedics, then rush her to her doctor.

She is doing fine now. But it reminds me that these little lives that seem so healthy and strong are really very fragile. I was standing just a few feet from her when she started choking, yet she was in real trouble by the time I realized there was something wrong. I hate to think what could have happened if there hadn't been an adult in the room.

Sometimes I joke that my #1 job is just to follow the kids around and make sure they don't kill themselves. But there's a lot of truth to that. Until they can take care of themselves, I'm their best defense against all kinds of dangers. I've got to admit though: I've never thought of the dangers of toast before...

Paralyzing Perfectionism

My little boy is perfect. Or at least he thinks he is. Little McGyver can't stand to make a mistake. He expects to do everything perfectly the first time. When we introduce a new sight word to him, he sometimes cries if he doesn't know it right away. Even though we tell him it's OK not to know it, that he'll get it before long. That's not good enough. "I'll never know it FOREVER!" is how he responds.

The Mighty Mrs J and I both have the same tendencies. So we are trying to help him know that it's OK not to be perfect. So far we've only had moderate success. But, I've only had moderate success in my own life learning that I don't have to be perfect.

The worst part about expecting to do everything perfectly? It keeps me from trying things that I might not be good at. Knowing that I'll probably flub up a few times (or a lot of times) before I get something right is frightening, almost paralyzing, to me. So I don't do anything.

I've missed out on some really super things in my life because I was too afraid I'd do something badly. I'd like my kids to know that's a normal fear. I'd also like them to know that making mistakes, even big, embarrassing ones, is also totally normal...

One small step...

Little McGyver is climbing trees. Well, one tree actually. It's the tree in our back yard. I nailed small pieces of wood going up the trunk of the tree for LM to use as footholds, and now he can scamper right up into the upper branches.

He loves climbing, and I love to see him climb. Really I think I get more out of him climbing than he does. Growing up, I wasn't allowed to do dangerous things like climb up a tree. My mom was pretty overprotective, and the thought of something happening to me was more than she could handle. So, there was a lot of stuff I couldn't do because it was "too dangerous." I grew up afraid of a lot of things because they were "too dangerous." I couldn't realize it at the time, but my mom was really afraid of losing me. She had some losses in her life, and I don't think she processed them very well. So I kind of became the destination point for a lot of her fears.

But enough of my $.25 psychology. The main reason I write about this is because I'm determined to pass on as few of my neuroses as possible to my kids. That's why my son is up a tree. And soon, so will my daughters. I figure they'll be plenty messed up with their own mental/emotional issues. I'll keep mine to myself...