Getting my theology from C.S. Lewis and John Lydon...

Toddler Houdini was a little sick today, so she and I stayed home while the Mighty Mrs. J took the other 2 kids to worship with our peeps. While they were gone TH and I lounged about, watching TV. We especially enjoyed the "History of Rock and Roll" episode on VH1 Classic. The episode we watched was about the punk era (mid-70's to early 80's). (Actually, she watched Little Bear in the living room, while I watched VH1 Classic in the bedroom.)

Mostly I just enjoyed the music and the stories. The part that got me thinking about spiritual things was a film clip that showed the very end of the last concert by John Lydon's group (I won't mention the name of the group, because it's not appropriate for a family blog. Google John Lydon if you don't know his stage name or his first group.)

After the end of their last song, Lydon yells to the crowd, "Ya ever feel like you've been cheated?" Most people thought he was saying that they had cheated the audience. But Lydon said that what he meant was that he and the group had been cheated; that they got into music expecting one thing, but found out the reality was very different, and disappointing. So disappointing they disbanded after being together only 3 years.

The spiritual application? I wonder how many of us are cheating ourselves out the blessings God wants for us. How many of us pursue things that aren't really important in an eternal sense? How many of us harbor doubts about God, thinking He's less great, less good, less loving than He actually is? How many of us see our faith as a duty to be performed, rather than a relationship to be cherished? How many of us build walls between us and other people, keeping them at a distance? All those things, and a hundred more, cheat us out of experiencing the life that God wants for us.

It reminds me of something said during a sermon entitled, "The Weight of Glory."

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

I hope none of us will look back at our lives to discover we were "half-hearted creatures."

Good folks doing good work...

The Mighty Mrs. J and I are blessed. We have a great marriage (at least I think so), with great kids, and a nice house. We don't have a ton of money, but we don't hurt for anything either. And it's becoming more important to us that we help people in this world who have real needs. There's a lot of reasons this is more important to us. One, it is the right thing to do. Second, we want our kids to realize how blessed they are, especially compared to other people.

I say all that to tell you about one of the groups that we've been supporting for a while, the Foothills Pregnancy Resource Center. They work with pregnant women here in southern California. They provide counsel and guidance for these women, trying to get them to choose life for their babies. They are growing, reaching out, trying to provide more services to the communities they serve.

Here's a link to their web site. Click over and see for yourself what they do. And, I'm not one to tell you how to spend your money. But while you're at their site, why not give them a donation? Saving kids is a pretty terrific way to spend your money...

Thoughts on God's second chances...

On her always-thoughtful blog, Emily had a great post about her ambivalent feelings toward getting involved with kids in a local orphanage. (She's in the Ukraine, for folks who don't know.) She seemed afraid that she would use these kids, take their love and affection, and use them to heal her own emotional wounds.

Her post reminded me of feelings that I've fought with most of my life. (By the way, the rest of this post isn't about Emily's post. It's about my reaction to her post. She speaks very well for herself.) I've spent way too much time and energy keeping people at arm's length. My defense against people getting too close? Humor (or the attempting of humor, at least). And avoidance. Especially in my twenties, when I found it really hard to be around people, except for a close circle of friends. During that time in my life, I would have full-blown panic attacks whenever I was in social situations.

It took me forever to get my bachelor's degree. The panic attacks were one reason why it took so long. I would register for classes, then not be able to walk into class. I mean, I wouldn't be physically able to move my body into the classroom. It's bizarre. I understand that. But it's how I lived for a long time.

I know now that the panic attacks were part of my twisted brain's desire to protect me from getting hurt. And so were all the other ways that I kept people from getting too close. But the results were not at all what I wanted--missed opportunities for jobs and relationships, wrong beliefs about myself and the people around me. And I think I did use some people for my advantage.

The good news? Those awful panic attacks are mostly gone. And I don't fear letting people see me for who I am. God has brought me a long way. (I still have a long way to go!) And my life is better than ever. Even more important, I see how great life is, and I can appreciate it. Soon, I'll post a little about what and who God used to put me in a different place...

Prayer for the new year...

"Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not enjoy it enough."
--Garrison Keillor

Why yes, my kids are adorable...

I might be a tad biased when I say this, but my family is the most awesomest ever. If you need visual proof, check out this post at my wife's seldom-updated blog...

Happy birthday, Little MacGyver...

Today is Little MacGyver's 6th birthday! Yes, he's a Christmas Eve baby. His birthday can be overshadowed a bit by this guy. But we usually have a party for him the week before or the week after, to separate his special day from Jesus' special day.

But we did have a special birthday breakfast this morning. And of course, I took pictures!


Here he is, waiting for his favorite breakfast (bacon and johnny cakes). Notice he has the family celebration plate that we use on birthday days.


The girls are less concerned with birthdays and more worried about getting breakfast served soon!












Here he is with one gift--a set of books called The Magic Treehouse. He has the first book in the series as an audiobook, and he loves it. He listens to it every night while he goes to sleep.









This was his big gift--his very own, kid-sized guitar! He's been playing it all day. I've got to say, teaching your son some simple guitar chords is a great feeling!









I assume that at some point Little MacGyver will read this, just to check up on what his old man is doing.

So here's a note to you, son. You are the best son a father could ever have. I am so proud of the boy you've become, and I look forward to seeing the man you'll be. You are one of God's great blessings to your mom and me. I know you'll be a great blessing to all the people you touch through your life. Two things I want you to be sure of in this crazy life: 1) God loves you more than you'll ever imagine, and 2) your dad is totally proud of you, always.

Happy birthday, my crazy boy!

The way I want my life to be...

I've written before about wanting a first-hand experience with God, and wanting to share that with my children. Meaning that I don't want only to hear about what God is doing in the lives of other people, or even just reading about how God moved among people in the Bible. I want to know, to see God at work in my life. And not just in big, massive things. In the everyday stuff of life.

Something happened last Saturday that reminded me again that one reason I don't have that kind of relationship with God is because I don't talk to Him that often. We were putting up Christmas lights on the outside of the house. (And, yes, we did buy Christmas lights that were NOT made in China.) We got everything strung together. We put an extension cord on the end. I got ready to plug it in...and realized we needed an adapter to plug it into the socket.

The Mighty Mrs. J and I searched everywhere--I mean everywhere for an adapter. There wasn't one to be found. We had almost given up, which meant a trip to the hardware store the next day. Then I decided to do something unusual. I called Little MacGyver into the kitchen, told him the situation, and we prayed about it. He hasn't got a clue what an adapter is, but he prayed, "Jesus, help daddy find the 'dapter. Amen."

Jesus must've heard, because within about 2 minutes, I had the strongest impression to look in a place where there should not have been any adapters. But, there was not one but two adapters, sitting there waiting to be found. Little MacGyver and I thanked Jesus a lot, then we plugged in our Christmas lights. Which we enjoyed immensely (especially knowing they weren't put together by Chinese prisoners).

Did Jesus help us find the adapter? I think so. I know it's a minor thing, but if he really does care about everything that happens to us, then why can't He show me where the adapters are hiding? Maybe it was just a chance for Him to show Little MacGyver and me that He really loves us. Maybe He wanted to remind me to come to Him with all my concerns, no matter how small.

I wonder how my life would change if I really did that?

Be careful little hands, what you do...

I've been thinking a lot lately about the way my kids relate to God. I don't want them to see God as primarily the Guy watching in Heaven, waiting to catch them doing wrong. (Like the song from the post title.) When they do wrong, God is there to swat them down.

I want them to grow up knowing that He loves them. I want their relationship to the Father to be natural and intimate. I want them to see that God delights in them. They don't need to perform a certain way or be involved in certain activities to be acceptable to God.

In short, I want them to experience God in a way that I seldom have. I think it's really true that kids form their perception of God by looking at their earthly father. And my father was completely absent. That means that I've often felt a great distance between myself and God. Even though I know that the truth is He is here with me, always. I just haven't experienced that truth in my life.

I have wasted large chunks of my life trying to be good enough, active enough, Christian enough for God to love me. I think that explains my entire career in vocational Christian ministry. I was hoping that God would approve and give me the pat on the back I needed. Of course I could never do enough to feel approved by God, because I've already been completely accepted by God. And not accepted because of anything I did, but because Jesus did everything I needed.

That's why I was thinking about the little chorus in the title of this post. Obviously, my kids need to know right and wrong. They need to know that when they do wrong, they break God's laws, and His heart. But I want them to know more than that. The same God who hates sin loved them so much He sacrificed His own son to pay for their sins. God doesn't want them to perform great Christian works. He just wants them to delight in their Father the way He delights in them.

I know that's what I want for my kids. The question is: how can I create an environment so this can happen? I just don't know.

Any ideas?

Focus, people, FOCUS!

DisneyGirl is probably the most imaginative girl I know. She's constantly got scenes playing out in her head. Either she's in the dark woods, or in the ocean, or at Disneyland. And she's some character in the movie in her head. I'll call for her, and she'll say, "I'm not DisneyGirl. I'm Baby Deer, Spotted Deer." Or she's Little Doggy Puppy. It's hard to keep up with who she is at any given moment.

I love how creative and passionate she is about her pretend world. The only time it gets annoying is when the Mighty Mrs. J or I want her to do something. She is so far into her world that she never even hears us.

I have a real dilemma. She needs to listen when we call her. But I don't want to ruin her imaginative spirit. I also don't want her to grow up too fast.

I guess I really don't have much of a dilemma at all. She'll have decades to be an adult, and do adult things like come when she's called. She'll only be the world's cutest 4year-old for a short time. I hope that instead of being annoyed, I can just enjoy how inventive and imaginative she is. And I hope she never loses that part of her. Even when she's all growed up....

Paralyzing Perfectionism

My little boy is perfect. Or at least he thinks he is. Little McGyver can't stand to make a mistake. He expects to do everything perfectly the first time. When we introduce a new sight word to him, he sometimes cries if he doesn't know it right away. Even though we tell him it's OK not to know it, that he'll get it before long. That's not good enough. "I'll never know it FOREVER!" is how he responds.

The Mighty Mrs J and I both have the same tendencies. So we are trying to help him know that it's OK not to be perfect. So far we've only had moderate success. But, I've only had moderate success in my own life learning that I don't have to be perfect.

The worst part about expecting to do everything perfectly? It keeps me from trying things that I might not be good at. Knowing that I'll probably flub up a few times (or a lot of times) before I get something right is frightening, almost paralyzing, to me. So I don't do anything.

I've missed out on some really super things in my life because I was too afraid I'd do something badly. I'd like my kids to know that's a normal fear. I'd also like them to know that making mistakes, even big, embarrassing ones, is also totally normal...

The Easter CD is finally done!!!

It's been a tiring couple of days. We've been working on a project that will hopefully be a blessing to the people who are part of it. Every Christmas, our little ministry participates in Angel Tree. Angel Tree is a program where local Christians buy Christmas presents for kids who have a parent in prison. It's a great chance to show God's love to people who are often forgotten by society. Last Christmas, we got presents for 25 kids.

Anyway, we are reaching out to these same families in a really cool way. We asked several independent Christian musicians to let us use one of their songs, and we put together a CD. The CD has 6 great songs, a reading of passages out of the Bible, and a short message I recorded on what Easter really means. We mailed copies of the CD out to each of the families we gave gifts to. (Plus a few others we've had contact with recently.)

It's kinda labor intensive to put the CD's together, and get them set up and put in the mail. So it's been a couple of let nights for me. But, we know that the folks who get them will be blessed. The work is totally worth it.

And a great thing for me is that my boy helped us work on it. (The pic is him and the Mighty Mrs. J holding up the finished CD. She designed the cover. Yes, she's as talented as she is cute!) We explained to him that the CD would help people hear about Jesus. He was really excited! He worked hard to put mailing labels on envelopes, and stamps on postcards that we included in the mailing. People can write prayer requests or needs on the card, and send back to us.

It's very exciting to know that this CD will be a blessing to a whole bunch of people. But as a father, it's a lot more exciting to see my boy eager to help other people hear about Jesus. One of my goals as a parent is to help him see his faith as not just something he possesses, but something he lives and shares with everybody around him. I want him to learn early on that God lives and moves in this world through him and the other believers he chooses to church with. It's taken me a long time to learn that. I want him to pick it up early.

BTW, there are links on the left to some of the musicians who donated music. They are terrific! The fact that they are so generous with their talents shows they have their hearts in the right place. Check out their music. I guarantee you will be blessed!

Frightening thought...

My son has been saying something lately that is very frightening to me. In fact, I can't think of too much that scares me more. When we're doing things together, he often says, "Dada, I'm going to copy you. I'm gonna do it just like you." He's going to copy ME????

What a thought! I've never thought of myself as someone who should be copied. I am really flawed. But here's this little life that is looking at me, trying to figure out how to act in this world. I'm still trying to figure that out myself.

It reminds me that people who study such things say that kids get their ideas about who God is by watching their parents, especially their dads. If their father is warm, loving, and forgiving, they assume God is like that too. On the other hand, if dad is cold and aloof, or angry and violent, then that's how they see God.

My dad was gone. Totally. Saw him a handful of times growing up, but he was never a part of my life. And I have struggled my whole life with the idea that God (or anyone, for that matter) really loves me. I know in my head that I am loved by God. But somehow that knowledge hasn't seeped into my soul. So I sometimes wonder: am I loved? Am I lovable? It's not a great way to live. But it's the legacy that my father left to me.

I want to do better for my kids. I want my kids to see God as the One they can always turn to. The One who is always on their side. The One who doesn't tolerate bad behavior, but who is always ready to forgive. The One who you can always depend on, no matter how much you have goobered things.

It's a pretty tall order to model all those things for my kids. Thankfully, I can also be a model of how a flawed human being can still be loved and accepted by a good, loving God. Thank God for grace!

(Again, the picture has nothing to do with this post. But he sure is cute!)

Leaving a legacy of forgiveness...

I was reading through Psalm 51 today. It's the one David wrote after Nathan had confronted him about sleeping with Bathsheba and killing her husband. There's a sentence there, "I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me." I tend to live out that sentence in a very unhealthy way. I'm way too conscious of my own sins and faults. I tend to stay right there, focused on what I do that's wrong or doesn't measure up. Of course, in the psalm, David goes on to experience God's love and forgiveness. I don't always get to that place, even though I know I'm forgiven.

I wonder about how this affects my parenting. I catch my kids doing something wrong. Do I look just to punish? Or do I try to redeem something out of the situation? I know I need to correct bad behavior, but is that enough? My kids need to see forgiveness and restoration as the natural correction for the wrong that we do. Otherwise, they'll learn to wallow in the guilt of their wrong actions, and never experience the sweetness of God's grace.

I think it's true that kids get their concept of God from their parents. I want them to see God as a loving Father who doesn't let sin go unpunished, but who is quick and willing to forgive and restore fellowship with us.